Oladapo Odusose
I worked at the BEAT 99.9 FM for 4 years and the experience was indeed a great deal until May 2012 when I had to relocate to Canada. It was such a challenging decision to make because I have always believed that I can never live outside Nigeria, having experienced life on vacation outside the country in the past. I have always felt, living outside Nigeria can be boring.
I was having fun working at THE BEAT because the job was so much fun. After weighing all our options (between my wife and I) we eventually decided to relocate with our beautiful daughter leaving our much cherished Nigerian dream behind. Relocating was not so easy, as we had to leave family and friends behind. At a point, while traveling through the skies of Africa into Europe and finally into the North American country of Canada, we were both scared if this is truly what we wanted but then, it was too late to go back.
We landed in Toronto(we already decided we were not going to live in Toronto for reasons we both agreed to) and headed straight to a city called Winnipeg in Manitoba.
Now in Canada - the " dreamland"; settling in became the next big issue with limited resources, a jobless couple and a little girl...we were ready for the life in this cold city
After about 40 days without job and a boring life, my wife and I started trading blames at each other...lol..wondering why we ever left Nigeria in the first instance but then we realised that but unless we accept reality, we might not get the best of the land and that moment, we prayed together and agreed to live the Canadian life especially as agreed that our decision was actually for our little daughter.Life in foreign lands is not a bed of roses; it's not a bed of thorns either...we had to start building our lives all over again! Starting from building our resume to suit employers' needs, finding an apartment, getting a school for the kid and so on...
It was tough! I must mention that of note is the fact that one's qualification, regardless of the level of certification is nothing to rely on. We had to find what they call survival jobs...
Survival jobs for some are ; healthcare aids jobs where you take care of people with health issues or old people
For some, it's cleaning jobs and for others, call centre jobs .Call center jobs can be difficult sometimes because of perceived accents especially with Africans but my wife and I were determined not to take the health care aids jobs as these would take us far away from our experiences.We prayed and really stuck together. Right now, eventually, I got a Call center job and my wife a Daycare job and that is what we call our own survival jobs for now...I am going to be talking about the challenges that can be faced in our decision making as couples and what is needed to survive in some of the decision we make sometimes.I am also going to be sharing experiences of couples we have met and also experiences of people we know both in Nigeria and here in Canada
Welcome to NEECEE Boss lady's blog and welcome to Young, married and loving iT world!!
Things Happy Couples Talk About
Great minds talk about ideas; small minds talk about people. What do you and
your significant other talk about? If you constantly hit the heavy stuff,
you're probably happier than if you spend time gossiping about your neighbors
or coworkers.
Among the scores of substantive topics people discuss, we've come up with nine that we believe couples should relish during heart-to-hearts:
1. Embarrassing moments. If you can't share the awkward, "American Pie"--worthy moments that occurred throughout high school with your partner, who can you tell them to? Don't be afraid to broach the subject, if you haven't already. We wouldn't be surprised if their stories are more horrifying than yours.
2. Political viewpoints. How do you feel about the nigerian political issues? You don't have to agree with each other, but you do need to keep an open mind. A good relationship allows both parties to discuss their own philosophies without taking the opposition personally.
3. Fears and insecurities. By fears, we don't mean your phobia of earthworms. We're talking about things that make you wake up with gray hairs. What worries you? What do you want to improve in yourself? What skeletons are in your closet? In being vulnerable, you risk judgment, but more importantly, you chance being understood.
4. Childhood. Ask your partner what he or she was like as a kid. Did she make friends easily? What kind of games did he like to play? Did he have trouble in school? Childhood memories make for fun conversations, but they can also lend insight into how your main squeeze became the person he or she is today.
5. Past relationships. This is a touchy one because no one wants to hear the person they're with spouting sonnets about an ex. There is, of course, a difference between longing for (or being bitter over) the past and simply acknowledging what happened. With enough practice, seasoned, happy couples learn how to address why past relationships ended without inadvertently comparing their current partner to an old flame.
6. Family life. Knowing a person's upbringing and relationship with his or her parents is paramount to understanding his current attitude toward family. If you're even slightly contemplating a future with this person, it might help to ask how well they get along with their parents. Why does she resent her mother? Why is he closer to his sisters than to his brothers? How does she handle family gatherings?
7. Current events. Thanks to the overflow of information, it's nearly impossible to stay up-to-date on everything going on around us. Here's where teamwork comes into play: Ask your partner about his interests, be they economics or regional politics, and see if you can't learn a thing or two. Who knows, maybe you'll help him develop an interest in international affairs or science news.
8. TV and movies. Compared to politics and personal fears, entertainment might seem pretty shallow, but discussions about movies can fall into the "deep" category if you focus on character motivations and plots rather than on, say, the cute leading actors.
9. The future. Talking about the future can be nerve-wracking. While we're not saying you should pressure your partner into talking about plans for marriage and children, we do believe that you should know their dreams, goals, and aspirations. What is he working toward? What drives her to succeed? Where does he see himself in five years? Someone who desires growth and is not afraid of the unknown is surely dynamic enough to deserve you.
Among the scores of substantive topics people discuss, we've come up with nine that we believe couples should relish during heart-to-hearts:
1. Embarrassing moments. If you can't share the awkward, "American Pie"--worthy moments that occurred throughout high school with your partner, who can you tell them to? Don't be afraid to broach the subject, if you haven't already. We wouldn't be surprised if their stories are more horrifying than yours.
2. Political viewpoints. How do you feel about the nigerian political issues? You don't have to agree with each other, but you do need to keep an open mind. A good relationship allows both parties to discuss their own philosophies without taking the opposition personally.
3. Fears and insecurities. By fears, we don't mean your phobia of earthworms. We're talking about things that make you wake up with gray hairs. What worries you? What do you want to improve in yourself? What skeletons are in your closet? In being vulnerable, you risk judgment, but more importantly, you chance being understood.
4. Childhood. Ask your partner what he or she was like as a kid. Did she make friends easily? What kind of games did he like to play? Did he have trouble in school? Childhood memories make for fun conversations, but they can also lend insight into how your main squeeze became the person he or she is today.
5. Past relationships. This is a touchy one because no one wants to hear the person they're with spouting sonnets about an ex. There is, of course, a difference between longing for (or being bitter over) the past and simply acknowledging what happened. With enough practice, seasoned, happy couples learn how to address why past relationships ended without inadvertently comparing their current partner to an old flame.
6. Family life. Knowing a person's upbringing and relationship with his or her parents is paramount to understanding his current attitude toward family. If you're even slightly contemplating a future with this person, it might help to ask how well they get along with their parents. Why does she resent her mother? Why is he closer to his sisters than to his brothers? How does she handle family gatherings?
7. Current events. Thanks to the overflow of information, it's nearly impossible to stay up-to-date on everything going on around us. Here's where teamwork comes into play: Ask your partner about his interests, be they economics or regional politics, and see if you can't learn a thing or two. Who knows, maybe you'll help him develop an interest in international affairs or science news.
8. TV and movies. Compared to politics and personal fears, entertainment might seem pretty shallow, but discussions about movies can fall into the "deep" category if you focus on character motivations and plots rather than on, say, the cute leading actors.
9. The future. Talking about the future can be nerve-wracking. While we're not saying you should pressure your partner into talking about plans for marriage and children, we do believe that you should know their dreams, goals, and aspirations. What is he working toward? What drives her to succeed? Where does he see himself in five years? Someone who desires growth and is not afraid of the unknown is surely dynamic enough to deserve you.
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- Oladapo Odusose (Simply ‘Dapo’) is
a Media and Business Consultant, he's also a Mass Communication graduate with special interests in business research and
development.
Dapo is a seasoned advertising practitioner.
He is also presently the coordinator Occupation of F.R.I.E.N.D
(Friendship for Real Integration, Equity and National Development), an NGO
created to foster development in Nigeria.
Young Married and Loving It (YML)
is a group with over 200 members on facebook, created to strengthen marriages
and discuss issues young couples face in marriages. There are stories of
break ups in marriages, so much so young unmarried people feel there is no
joy in being married; this group gives an opportunity for young couples to
share challenges with others and also seek ways of discussing solutions
(without going into divorce) to some of these real life issues.
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E-mail: toluwanidapo@yahoo.co.uk
Twitter handle: @toluwanidapo
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