Blunt with FACT

  
Okoro Onwuchekwa Onyebuchi Desmond


On the eleventh Hour: Sex Talk

I am putting this piece together with a sledge hammer close to my head (literally speaking) and racing against time.  Apparently I forgot about doing this little write up but I am warming up and glad that I did.
I don’t consider myself as a writer of any sort but I enjoy sharing my views about social changes, events and mostly critiquing things, this I learnt from the fame Max Horkheimer, the originator of the Critical Theory. Who states that a theory is critical in so far as it seeks "to liberate human beings from the circumstances that enslave them.  I believe that our generation is under some form of psychological enslavement as our psyche and reasoning are eroded by negativity as we choose to fancy and do bizarre and odd things just to feel hype and daring (in reality I consider it stupidity) rather than look deep to understand the meaning and possible fundamental errors that is plaguing us as a generation of youth leaders. One troubling issue that I wanna share is about sex, the attitudes and behaviours that are being characterized and its impact is a source of concern
A few days back I read about a young chap glorifying himself on twitter of his sexual escapes and has  sex tapes of his exploits, this for many reasons make me despise twitter as I learnt a lot of young people are ready to do negative stuffs, create negative publicity and selling sex as a trade to become popular. I remember while I was teenager, talking about sex or stuffs related to it or explicit sensual materials that connote it were rare to be held.
Interestingly we learn from our social institutions and had several social scripts imbibed into us especially the socially sexual script. According to Simon and Gagon, socially learned sexual scripts tell people who to have sex with (e.g. what the race, gender and age of an appropriate sexual partner should be), when and where it is appropriate to have sex, and what acts are appropriate (and in what order) once sexual behaviour is initiated. Sexual scripts are not rigid or absolute; individuals engaged in sexual behavior do not feel like they are simply performing a script they have memorized.
The word and term sex is so casual, I am not implying that sex should be shrouded with secrecy but really sex (sexual intercourse) is a beautiful thing when done with respect, sincerity and feeling between two consenting persons brings a sense of pleasure and satisfaction (though I am very aware that sex can be paid for) but the whole concept of sex and its divine purpose should not be allow to plunge into the dark deep abyss of contempt and disrespect.
I am a sexual being, active and I  do on a regular basis encourage people to learn how to have enjoyable and pleasurable sexual lives that is devoid pain, bitterness, misgivings, STIs with people learning also to appreciate their sexuality and being sexually informed. The fact is that our generation is still making the mistake about sex, yes HIV is very much around us and just because a guy or a girl test negative to it does not mean that he or she does not have Sexual Testing Infection (STIs) of some sort.
A good bloke that happens to be my blahd called me up and ask how he could quickly do an HIV test for his girl because she been bugging about having sex without condom, saying she knows her Red Robot (menstrual period) and there is no need to fear for pregnancy and played my guy saying whether he has HIV that’s why he avoiding for the real thing. Honestly I never had a good laugh hearing these excuses because I ask him how she can tell if she does not have HIV or worse any STI. Many folks these days thinks HIV is the ultimate, True but some STIs leaves a terrible scar and worst the emotional and psychological trauma that one goes through with such consequences and impact. Having unprotected sex is as expensive as buying a Bugatti, why because you cannot tell how much damage one STI needless to say several that one may contact during just one unfortunate sexual  episode.  Imagining treating two STIs that are either bacteria or virus in nature, I bet someone is feeling edgy and wondering why is this dude just trying to spoil the mood and thought of having sex. I am just trying to make folks feel a bit concern about the illicit behaviours we do that endanger us as well as others.

The fact is there are recorded incidence of bad news when it comes to unprotected sex and worrisome is the spate at which some folks go about having unprotected sex, for instance Wole (real name withheld) enjoys skin to skin or skin diving to have bragging rights and when he falls ill he get so scared of going to the hospital to get tested for his aliment. I ponder why would Wole or other like him continue to behave and live a life of impertinence that can affects the significant others close to them.
It is the eleventh hour of our lives and whether we like it or not, our sexual wellbeing is a very important aspect of who we are, if we continue to fail to respect our body integrity and hold our love and sex lives dear to us, our collective future may be in jeopardy because one life may affect the lives of 10 others and may have a multiplying effect.
p.s I plan to be a sex therapist in the not to distance future

- Okoro Onwuchekwa Onyebuchi Desmond alias Desmond Buchi Kabal  is a product of university of Lagos (UNILAG), Lagos where he studied psychology and wants to major in the aspect of development, brand positions and capacity building  is a social entrepreneurship specialist, a development rights activist who has been involved in projects, programmes and activities in the area of human rights: sexual & reproductive health and rights, concept/idea creation and generation, social/community engagement, intervention centered entertainment (Enter edutainment), life building education, social media.  He’s also served in some capacity with youth driven networks like African Youth and Adolescent Network on Population and Development (AFRIYAN), African Youth Congress on Science, Technology and Innovation,  Global Youth Action Network (GYAN),  Co-Author “Our Voice, Our Future” a UNFPA Youth side report on UNGASS 2005. International Panelist, Barcelona Youth Force (BYF) Session on Global Youth Network and Advocacy, Panelist/Presenter African Youth Forum on Sciences, Technology and Innovation, 2006-2007  and has worked with MTV Staying Alive Foundation (SAF) implementing youth centered projects and activities among others.  Desmond is a product of university of Lagos (UNILAG) and Saint Finbarrs College, Akoka, Lagos where he studied psychology and wants to major in the aspect of development, brand positions and capacity building.

Desmond is the project manager of Leaders with New Dimensions (LeND). He enjoys working a multi-cultural and diverse team that comprise of dynamic young people and adults alike, enjoys writing and ideas generation. Desmond enjoys writing, commenting and discussing on tropical issues that come to mind in relations to the “X” generation.

E-mail: buchyxx@yahoo.co.uk

Follow on twitter@spawnkabal